Stop Being Available: How to Set Better Boundaries and Take Your Power Back
Are you the person everyone depends on?Do you remember the appointments, make the plans, solve the problems, keep track of what everyone needs, and step in whenever something falls through the cracks?
If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.
In this deeply relatable and practical conversation, Mel sits down with world-renowned motivational speaker Dr. Eric Thomas, also known as “ET, The Hip Hop Preacher,” to talk about what happens when you become the person who holds everything together.
Dr. Thomas is a pastor, educator, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most influential motivational speakers in the world.
In this conversation, he shares something extremely personal: what he learned from realizing how much his wife, Dede, had been carrying in their marriage and family while he was focused on building his career.
That realization changed the way he thought about strength, responsibility, trust, and it changed their marriage.
Dr. Thomas will tell you, “You’ve done everything for everybody else and you’ve not done the things that you need to do for yourself.”
He knows that you’re used to getting things done, and how hard it has become to put anything down. He will show you how to get that time back to focus on yourself.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
-How to recognize when you’ve become the person who does everything for everyone
-Why “I’ll just do it myself” can become a pattern that leaves you exhausted
-Why capable people often have the hardest time letting other people help
-What happens to your family when you become the person everyone waits on
-How to tell the difference between helping someone and constantly rescuing them
-How to stop grabbing responsibility back the second someone struggles
-What to do when you think, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done”
-How to start sharing responsibility without feeling like everything is going to fall apart
-Why being needed can become part of your identity without you realizing it
-How to stop measuring your value by how much you do for other people
-What the people who love the “strong one” need to understand
Dr. Thomas says, “In opening myself up to be cared for, I found care.”
Today you are going to learn how to take the care you have been giving to everyone and turn it back on yourself, so you can focus on your dreams, your life and get your energy back.
If you are tired of being the one who always remembers, fixes, handles, and holds everything together, this conversation will help you understand why you keep doing it and how to finally start putting some of that weight down.
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-454/
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I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
0:00 Meet the Guest
5:56 The Invisible Mental Load: Why You Feel Mentally Exhausted
14:29 Sharing Household Responsibilities With Your Partner and Family
17:52 How to Identify Your Priorities and Focus on What Matters Most
26:04: Stop Putting Your Dreams and Goals Last
29:05 Why You Need to Stop Doing Everything for Everyone
32:16 The Pressure to Be Perfect and Why It's Time to Let Go
39:18 How to Ask for Help Without Feeling Guilty
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Website: http://melrobbins.com
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