Drawn to The Fire: The Psychology of Loving Toxic Women
This is Part 2 of my 2-part series on why you’re subconsciously drawn to toxic women.In the first video, we explored how childhood trauma wires your nervous system to confuse chaos with love — how early abandonment, emotional neglect, or feeling unseen can make you crave intensity over peace. But even after understanding this, many men still feel magnetically pulled toward emotionally unstable or high-conflict partners.
Why? Because trauma isn’t the only force at play. There are deeper, hidden layers — rooted in your subconscious desires, sexual imprinting, hormones, and erotic conditioning — that make toxic women feel exciting and healthy women feel “flat.”
In this video, I break down seven advanced psychological and neurobiological reasons why you may crave the very type of woman who ends up hurting you. By understanding these deeper drives, you can start reprogramming your attraction patterns and build real, stable, and emotionally fulfilling relationships.
Timestamps:
Introduction (0:00)
1: Mother’s Influence (1:15)
2: Madonna-Wh*** Concept (3:27)
3: Dopamine Addiction (5:52)
4: Chasing Ego Validation (7:58)
5: Addicted to Fantasy (9:56)
6: Unavailability vs. High Value (12:00)
7: Trauma Reenactment (13:23)
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is an author, educator, and trauma recovery coach helping men heal from toxic and narcissistic relationships. Through her books, courses, and YouTube channel, Lise helps men understand trauma bonds, rebuild confidence, and create healthy emotional connections.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Stories about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, and teach without revealing confidential information.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your emergency services.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
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