Your Brain on Desire: Why You Want the Wrong People
We fall for the wrong people for two reasons: 1) We Can't Leave. 2) We want to Experience Something New or DifferentFurther Readings:
Joel, S., & MacDonald, G. (2021). We’re not that choosy: Emerging evidence of a progression bias in romantic relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 25(1), 3-20. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683211025860
- It argues humans have a bias towards entering and staying in romantic relationships (rather than rejecting poor matches), which helps explain why someone might repeatedly end up with “wrong” people.
Tsapelas, I., Beckes, L., & Aron, A. (2020). Manipulation of self-expansion alters responses to attractive alternative partners. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 938. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00938
- This experimental study shows how self-expansion dynamics in relationships affect how people respond to alternative partners — which ties into why we may chase certain people (or fail to recognise better partners) at the neurological / motivational level.
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